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Ha! It wasn't totally bad.
After a recent bargain of the century purchase of mucho "cup o' soup" where the paper lids were glued on so thoroughly that the 'jaws of life' were required to open them, I came to the conclusion that some of the items at the dollar store might be 'factory seconds'. (Sometimes slow, but I get there eventually.)
Couldn't blow up the whoopee cushion until I put a straw into it. Once that was done it made a pretty good noise when deflating, but wasn't keeping itself sealed completely, and had a rather cancerous-looking secondary bubble popping out from the primary baloon/bladder.
When I finally applied a little moisture to the inside of the 'blow into it' part, it sealed well and made a really terrific animal noise when compressed.
Pretty sure that sound was sent to me recently in a wonderfully correct phonetic way, and if the person responsible for 'raspberrying' me wants to repeat it for the sake of this post I'd appreciate it since I don't think I could spell that sound to save my life. ( :